


love until we burn up, fire

by lightningstars



Category: Shadowhunters, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Babe - Freeform, Banter, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Food, Happy, M/M, Multi, POV First Person, Wedding Night, Weddings, and plus w. the table read today BOI!!!, anyways feel free to suggest aus too, bc im ready, but i hope s2 is as gay as possible, but like. hints. barely anything lmao, gay shit, i cried like fifty times tho, i love you all for reading this, i thrive off of them okay, i want them to be happy, i wrote fluff!! call the police!!, im just sobbing, its so gay adn beautiful, its so late here im dying, just the mention of a war thats litearlly it wth @ me wheres the angst, kudos!! comments!! messages!! please!!, not kinky tho i swear its all eating, these kids love each other so much and i love them so much, this is so good tho love this, this!! is!! poetic!! and!! gay!!, with tinges of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:22:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7682557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningstars/pseuds/lightningstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its fucking ridiculous but we made it, we actually fucking made it, we’re married and I’m crying, you’re crying, I think Alec is crying but I can’t really see because of my tears because we fucking made it oh my god we made it. We all get stupidly drunk, its one night and for one night we can pretend like there isn’t a war out there, that your father isn’t trying to kill us, we can pretend that everything is okay for one night. And then Jace gets so sappy he actually proposes to Meliorn and he says yes in such a calm way its kind of scary but then literally two minutes go by and Jace pulls out a second ring and proposes to Simon who screams ‘yes, yes, a million times yes’ and now the three of them are in the middle of the room figuring out their wedding. Which is frankly rude on their behalf because we got married less then two hours ago, now they’re planning their wedding, what kind of brotherly backstabbing is this, but its okay because its fun and a mess. And I love it.</p><p><i>a.k.a.</i> that clizzy wedding thing that literally no one expected but is very gay and very cheesy and very lovey-dovey i nearly cried writing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love until we burn up, fire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Asteraa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asteraa/gifts).



> an;; anyways this was a stupid idea that became this and i’m going to force you all to read it and enjoy it so have fun darlings i love you almost as much as i love lanna but rip shes dead,,,,i miss her so much,,,,,rip,,,,i love lanna,,,also this has a million run on sentences and cheesy lines and please read it, its gay and late, and i love it so much these kids will be my death i swear. this is so fucking gay and cute i ate my left foot and thirty-two fingers in the process. theres probably a million spelling and grammer errors but i don’t give a shit. i love these kids so fucking much i want them to be happy forever they damn well deserve it

Its fucking ridiculous but we made it, we actually fucking made it, we’re married and I’m crying, you’re crying, I think Alec is crying but I can’t really see because of my tears _because we fucking made it_ oh my god we made it. We all get stupidly drunk, its one night and for one night we can pretend like there isn’t a war out there, that your father isn’t trying to kill us, we can pretend that everything is okay for one night. And then Jace gets so sappy he actually proposes to Meliorn and he says yes in such a calm way its kind of scary but then literally two minutes go by and Jace pulls out a second ring and proposes to Simon who screams ‘yes, yes, a million times yes’ and now the three of them are in the middle of the room figuring out their wedding. Which is frankly rude on their behalf because we got married less then two hours ago, now they’re planning their wedding, what kind of brotherly backstabbing is this, but its okay because its fun and a mess. And I love it. 

Maureen is dancing with Magnus, both of them are giggling about something while Alec eats the cake ignoring everyone. Luke is literally getting up every ten minutes to give speech about love, or hope, or family or something cheesy while Raphael gives a standing ovation every time. My parents are gone, they didn’t come, they’re probably figuring out what to say to the Clave about their ‘slutty lesbian daughter’ (mom’s words), but who gives a shit I’m drunk and happy and you look so gorgeous. And it suddenly hits me that I have you all to myself, you’re mine, all mine to keep safe forever. 

I remember when I was fifteen, scared, tired, a little lonely and hurt. I remember being young, not understanding love, not understanding myself and now I do. Or at least part of myself but its still progress and good god I’m so proud of myself. Its partly because of you, you helped me, you remind me when my nightmares are bad that its okay to have dreams. You love me, and hold me close, and after my parents yell in their quiet, harsh way, you’re the one who slip into my bed, whispering different words. You saved me, and still do and I fucking love you so much. 

I love you like the waves love the shore. I love you like the comet loves the stars it sees while flying. I need you like a sunflower, turning towards the bright sun full of warmth and happiness. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much and I don’t think I could ever stop. When you walk into a room my heart registers it before my mind does. Its like someone took all the air out of my lungs, then filled it with water so I could drown while watching you exist. Because I’d be content with that for the rest of my life, just watching you, listening to you, being with you. 

Sometimes I just want to grab your hand and run as far as we can, our laughter fading into the wind. Sometimes I just want to be trapped in a room with you, the door locked, the key miles underground. That way I can just exist with you, and love you every minute of my life. I could listen to you talk about art, or about the game, or about even goddamn water forever and eventually I’d throw a pillow at you, telling you to shut up and go to sleep. Then at night I’d keep you awake talking about forensics, or about space, or elephants because they’re cool even if Alec says they aren’t. We could make that room our whole world, paint it however you want, sleep whenever we want, eat whatever we wanted, do whatever we wanted. And as selfish as this sounds, I’d let the world destroy itself if it meant keeping you happy and for myself. I want you in every selfish way, I need you like the oyster needs a shell, I love you like a bee loves honey. 

Jace falls from a chandelier which makes me wonder why we even had one in the room. Maureen complains that her heel are hurting her but refuses to take them off. Shes the only sober one, shes going around getting everything on video for the ‘memories’ but everyone knows its for teasing in the future. Its okay. With the way this war is going we’re going to need some teasing. She looks gorgeous, in a full traditional outfit with her hijab, plus her mehndi that Luke did and my god, she looks good, we have very attractive friends. I tell you this and you snort into your hand, agreeing with me. Simon dragged Magnus up on stage but really I don’t think he minds, because they’re both grinning and singing ‘Life Is a Highway’ from that disney cars movie. Raphael is sniffing a couch, I’m not sure why, more importantly I don’t want to know why. Meliorn is quietly sitting in the corner smoking, right in front of the ‘No Smoking’ sign. The manager came to tell him off but Alec stepped in. With one glare he ran away so fast, Luke fell out of his chair laughing. 

Raphael is missing, I don’t know where he is. You tell me to calm down when reaching over for my hand and this is how I want you. Your small bones that I think will break if someone holds you the wrong way, your hair done so neatly by your mom, eyes gleaming with excitement. When you laugh I listen to it so wistfully, wanting to climb into it, and carve out a home in your veins. I could listen to your heartbeat for the rest of my life, watch your blood flow, admire your entire being, wondering how did God create such a magnificent creature without batting an eye. Or maybe they did. I would have. 

There’s a loud ‘CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS’ and when we turn around there he is, Raphael holding a green balloon because he knows that I hate that stupid colour. There’s a smug look on his face, then he actually winks at me so I take the very expensive plate in front of me and throw it at his face. It misses him by an inch but its good enough for Alec and Jace to start a food fight which is exactly what happens. Everyone’s grinning, a little (read: a lot) wobbly on their feet except Maureen who is dumping water on every head with a shit eating laugh. I grab your hand, tangle our fingers together before running outside. The stars are bright, grinning down on us. I tell you its because they’re gay too and you agree saying that you’re very proud of the gay stars, and the gay sun, and the gay moon and the gay space in general. I laugh and its fun, its so fun to laugh again and mean it. You did that, you gave purpose to my laugh, you gave me a reason to fight, a reason to love, you did all of this. I don’t think you realize how beautiful you are, how much you touch everyone’s life. So I kiss you, and I try very hard to put all my feelings in it, try to explain everything I can’t into it. Maybe you understand because you kiss me back, you’re trying to tell me something do, I think I understand it, I think I will always understand you. 

Simon runs out, yelling something about demons. For a moment my heart is stuck, standing still. You freeze next to me before moving into a defensive position over me. I want to yell at you to stop, I’m supposed to be protecting you, but nothing is happening. There isn’t any fire or shooting; we’re both confused until Magnus runs out screaming absolute nonsense with Raphael and Maureen both chasing after him with water guns. They soak us instead, and I flip them off which causes them to shoot more water, its an endless cycle and you’re stuck in it too. Meliorn casually walks in between eating cake, using his magic to stay dry. Jace says that's cheating, so Meliorn causes the water to chase him. Jocelyn is sleeping on the floor with Alaric curled by her foot. Luke is whining to a statue about how apples should be purple. I want to live in this moment forever. 

The night comes to a slow end. None of us but Maureen can drive so we say ‘fuck it’ and camp outside. You and I are soaked, Simon and Maureen are slowly swaying in the candle light while talking about how pretty tulips are. Jace lost his shoe, seventeen forks, and a napkin with the bartenders number on it and made Alec help him look. They don’t find anything, but neither of them know that Magnus burned it in a fire he made using nothing but two rocks. I didn’t even know it was possible to do that. Alaric woke up to stand in a fountain for two minutes and twelve seconds saying it was ‘for the wetness feel of a grape’. Raphael says grapes aren’t wet, and he looks so surprised by this he starts crying. I laugh then Raphael and I break into the managers room to find some grapes. We find nuts instead and spend an hour and a half throwing them in Alaric’s mouth. He catches about ten. 

You say that you think water would be a terrible ice cream flavor. Alec rolls his eyes and asks why you’re like this, but I don’t think I’d want you any other way. Maureen defends you, saying you can’t help what idiotic things come out of your mouth and I think about your soft lips, and how they remind me of comfort, of home. Meliorn would understand I think, he gets poetic shit like this. Raphael would call me a sap, even though everyone here knows hes the biggest sap of all. Magnus says that Maureen’s a cutie pie then Simon tells him no one says that and they throw insults as soft as water at each other. Jace starts freaking out because he brought a handbag full of stuff (but won’t say what the stuff is), and now hes lost it. Raphael tells him it probably ran away and Alec high-fives him. No one helps him look, but while his back is turned I see Luke hand it discreetly to Magnus to hide. Simon gets convinced that a statue is staring at your tits so we all take turns to tell it how wrong it is. An owl hoots somewhere, we all run back inside, thinking its coming after us. 

You’re so great, you’re amazing, holding me, being with me and I love you. I love you so much and I hope you love me back forever. I don’t know what I’d do without your love, maybe go insane, maybe die of sadness. Then I’d look down from the clouds and watch you be a light on this earth and I’d be okay I think. You say that you want a dog for your birthday and I say no because we could never handle a dog it’d make me go crazy in five minutes, so we argue about what pet to get. We finally agree on a cat, then imagine every possible cat. You want to paint its fur and I tell you no, the cat might not like it, but if the cat is an artist then fine you two can paint all you want. I sit and think of our lives together, doing the most simple things. 

We could run through supermarkets with you in the grocery cart, trying hard to not crash into any aisle. We could sing till our voices go out into the wind. We could race each other to the tree, then to the rocking chair because both of us like rocking back and forth it makes us feel cool even though its from your grandmother. You could cook while I read the news and avoid work. We could run to Vegas and leave them breathlessly spinning, turning the place upside down. The angel full of fire and her gorgeous mysterious beauty. You ask why I get to be the mysterious one and I tell you its because you reveal so much about yourself so you scoff and make a bet with me that you don’t. I agree, to a whole 14 dollars and 34 cents, then we go around asking what they all thought. I win and you just give me 29 cents and call it even because once you made me a painting. I saw that's not fair, you stick your tongue out and we’re suddenly lying on the floor sobbing from happiness. 

You get up to dance with Alec. I leave and find Meliorn behind the building staring at the stars without looking. I sit beside him, letting my dress get dirty. We had a thing, Meliorn and I. I still love him, very much, but its okay this way too. Silently, he hands me a cigarette and I take a deep breath into it watching the smoke rise into the air. I carve letters out of the smoke, before it disappears, then hand it back to him. We stay like this for a while before he throws a package in my direction. He sees my look of surprise, there was a gift ban, and shrugs. I open it carefully and inside is a necklace. Its a locket with all of us. I don’t know when it was taken or by who, maybe Stan or Raj but we’re all laughing and we’re all happy and I love it so much. He smiles at me, and I stand up to give him a kiss on the cheek. I tell him that I love him, and he looks at me like he knows that, of course he knows, maybe I’m not as mysterious as I thought, then tells me to be good before kissing my forehead and going back inside. 

I stand there, under the stars. I think about how someday I won’t be here. Someday there may not be a war, someday we’ll all be free. I think that’s good. But I also know that then someday people won’t know that I existed, that I hated the colour green. That I loved forensics and looked amazing at our wedding but got my dress dirty. That Jace got engaged to two people in one night, that Maureen refused to drink or take shit from anyone, that Alaric was terrible at catching nuts, that you were the most gorgeous thing to have ever walked on this earth that all of this happened. I think that’s terrible, I think that’s tragic but I think its also all fine because we’re here now, we exist now and fuck the future we matter now. We got married, we’re happy tonight, we’re going to love this forever, so fuck it all we matter now and I’ll fight every demon, every war, everything to keep it that way.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr is always here and i'm always screaming and please comment // kudos // message me i love you](http://www.isabellarosaline.tumblr.com)


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